The internet tells moms that self-care is bubble baths, face masks, and lighting a candle.

Maybe for some people it is.

But if I’m being honest, every time I take a bubble bath, I am nine times out of ten interrupted by a cat testing its tightrope-walking abilities on the side of the tub or a five-year-old barging in to ask why she can’t take a bubble bath too.

Self-care comes in many forms.

Self-care can be:

Botox

Filler

Therapy

Going for a walk alone

Getting a tattoo

Lunch with a friend

Drinking your coffee while it’s still hot

Self-care has become just another thing moms are supposed to do perfectly.

We’re told to take care of ourselves. Prioritize ourselves. Fill our own cup.

Fill our own cup? With wine?

Meanwhile, we’re juggling camp registration, laundry, work, activities, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, and family responsibilities.

Sometimes self-care feels like one more thing on the to-do list.

Let’s talk about Botox and tattoos.

Somewhere along the way, we decided there are versions of self-care that are acceptable and versions that need defending.

A bubble bath? Self-care.

A face mask? Self-care.

A massage? Self-care.

Botox? Suddenly we’re having a debate.

When did Botox become vanity and not self-care?

I am not ashamed to admit I have tattoos. I have had Botox. I have had filler.

My tattoos are deeply personal. They represent my IVF journey, resilience, and the reminder that moving forward is possible even when life doesn’t go according to plan.

I didn’t get them for anyone else.

I got them for me.

The same goes for Botox.

I’m not trying to look twenty-five.

I’m not doing it for my husband.

I’m not trying to become someone else.

I do it because it makes me feel good.

After years of taking care of everyone else, there is something incredibly restorative about doing something entirely for yourself.

One of my closest friends owns Great Falls Aesthetics, and one thing I’ve learned from watching her build her business is that most women aren’t walking through her doors chasing perfection.

They’re looking for confidence.

They’re looking to feel like themselves again.

Sometimes self-care isn’t relaxing in a bathtub.

Sometimes it’s reclaiming a piece of yourself.

Sometimes it’s marking a moment that changed you.

Sometimes it’s getting a tattoo.

Sometimes it’s getting Botox.

And sometimes it’s simply doing something because you want to.

The older I get, the more I realize self-care isn’t really about what you’re doing.

Sometimes self-care is simply choosing yourself for a change—and that’s okay.

Note: One of my closest friends owns Great Falls Aesthetics. While this post isn’t sponsored, I wanted to mention her because she’s helped me see that self-care looks different for everyone and that confidence and self-care are deeply personal.